I thought I would write this down so I can always look back and be happy with my new and free life!
I am 29.
I started smoking when I was 15.
I remember stealing my first one from my piano teacher. He always had a pack lying in the waiting room. I hid behind some bushes in the backyard for the first few times, waving my hands through the smoke trying to get rid of it.
I didn't like it I don't think... But it gave me a buzz after a few times.
After a few months I bought my first pack. Back then you could get them from any corner from a vending machine. You just needed the right change.
My parents didn't smoke. My dad had quit when I was born. He went cold turkey from 60 or more cigarettes a day to nil. I can't even imagine what it must have been like for him... 60 a day. That was a cigarette every 14 minutes.
Shortly after I started smoking my father had a mayor heart attack. He survived but was sent into early retirement. He was 55.
By this stage I was already hooked even though I though I could stop at anytime. OK... .......Why didn't I ?
I had to hide my smoking from my parents. My dad of course hated it and was strictly against it.
Every time I smoked outside I took chewing gum and deodorant with me to hide the smell.... I actually thought that my parents wouldn't smell it !
Smoking felt great! It was forbidden and "cool" back then... that's why I did it. All cool kids smoked in the early 90's!
I didn't realize what I did to my body, what the cigarettes ( my friends) did to my body.
I was great a sports, Volleyball and Athletics especially, until I started smoking.
I even won some competitions. It was a great joy and I felt fit and healthy....
..........Until I had my first puff.........
It changed my life.
( I didn't think writing this down would make me feel quite so emotional)
I think it was around that time that I had my first Panic attack. I don't know if it had anything to do with it... but I thought I'd share it.
You know, thinking back smoking really wasn't my friend!
It made me addicted, less active, gave me a cough, made me stink, gave me headaches from time to time and most of all it made me lie to my parents.
They still think to this day that I quit smoking at 18 years of age and didn't start it up until 2 years ago. I lied and I was very good at hiding it. At some stage it was very easy to hide: I moved to Australia when I was 22.
Every time they came to visit I hid it, made excuses and felt horrible about it. I really don't know how I did it! It's incredible how the nicotine mad me do these things. I think it was so bad at one stage that I said ( while sitting in a cafe) that I needed to go home and get my sunscreen but had a cigarette that I hid somewhere.. I was 25 !!!
Once we were on a visit in Melbourne and were supposed to stay at a friends house that was a 1 hour drive outside of the city. I said that I wanted to rent a room in the city. I insisted, even though it cost me $ 350 per night!
This is what my addiction made me do!
In the last 14 years I made a few attempts to quit but I think I never quite grasped the big picture of what this addiction was about.
I went back to smoking after a few days ( usually under a week). I thought I missed it and I didn't feel whole without it. I scared me to think I would never smoke again.
I was aware of the damage smoking could do. But as an addict I didn't care. Well, I cared but wasn't smart enough to actually do something about it.
QUITTING WAS SCARY UNTIL I FOUND THIS SITE.
I was reading story after story and something clicked in my head:
I DON'T WANNA DIE YOUNG!
I don't want to be a prisoner anymore!
I don't wanna lie anymore!
I don't wanna feel embarrassed for the way I smell!
I don't want to go out in the rain or cold or leave a social gathering for a quick fix!
I don't wanna waste my money anymore!
I want to have a healthy child one day!
I want to be and feel free!
I would have loved to quit earlier cause I don't know what sort of damage I have already done....
But I also now it's never to late to quit and the timetable gives me hope.
My husband and I are now planning on a baby.
He quit with me and both of us are now FREE
I have been smoke free for 4 days, 2 hours, 44m; didn't smoke 53 cigarettes, saved $ 33.43 and saved 4 hours and 25 minutes of my life.