Dearest Freedom Friends,
Wow, it has been exactly ONE month since I took in my last nicotine. It was horrible, it tasted gross, it made my throat burn, I choked on the smoke, and I literally wanted to scream out all the expletives in the book. I just hated everything about it, except for that elusive "ahhhh" it provided. Well, I NOW know better.
So. I squashed that icky, stinky ciggie out, I ran inside, and chugged a huge glass of chilly water. It felt pretty good, but I knew it could feel better. What would it be like to have fresh tissue lining my mouth and throat? What would it be like to take a big old breath and not have to stop mid way to cough? What would it be like to smell my hair and clothes the next morning and not want to hurl? What would it be like to not have to excuse myself after meals and return smelling icky? What would it be like to not carry the shame of smoking around with me like a scarlet letter? What would it possibly feel like to NOT be a slave to these killers for just one day? I was destined to find out. And so it began.
Thanks to modern technology, I jumped online and found Why Quit and FFN. I poured over the many difficult stories, the alarming statistics, Joel's educational articles and lurked on the site until I had 72 hours under my belt. Once I did, and all the nicotine was out of my bloodstream, I eagerly asked to become a member. I was warmly welcomed and have kept my own journal here at home. I've done some great things to help myself heal, but I know this for certain, without this site, I never would have been able to do this on my own. It was the community (YOU), your encouraging stories, and the intense education that helped me to officially stop feeding this 25 year addiction. And I am grateful...grateful to tears.
Today marked the one month anniversary for me. I have had, as expected, a few ups and downs. I also have gotten a bad cold so I went to the doctor. I was hoping I wouldn't have to, because I lost my health insurance recently, but it's not a good idea to let things go until they get "really bad"...My doctor was so very thrilled to update my chart to "ex-smoker status" and I sensed she was eager to work with me to assess my health. She said my vitals were great, oxygen levels good, heart rate good, etc...but I might want to consider a chest x ray - if only for peace of mind and to rule out anything bad. I got one. Happy Anniversary, Lara I am waiting now for the results. Sure, I am nervous, but of course, no matter what, attitude is everything. I am no longer poisoning myself, I am healing, and if there is something wrong, I will deal with it. I don't think there will be, but even so, NTAP, because it will never be worth it.
I am putting all my good energy out there into the universe - feel free to join me in this. I will happily return the favor!
I have been quit for 1 Month and 26 seconds (28 days). I have saved $83.99 by not smoking 280 cigarettes.
I have saved 23 hours and 20 minutes of my life.
My Quit Date: 2/21/2011 5:00 PM