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Feb 10 11 12:15 PM
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Doc Quit date 14th October 2008
Feb 10 11 4:55 PM
Feb 10 11 6:45 PM
Feb 15 11 6:32 AM
Just wanted to add a quick update, Oh I did feel so rubbish last week, my little girl leaving left a big void and for some reason I kept thinking of how I would have smoked to alleviate that emptiness. I had a lot of thoughts like this, I thought how easy it would be to buy a packet on the way to work, nip up to the local shop and come home seeing as no one is there and puff away - I had these thoughts but at no time did I ever come close to carrying out those acts. I went back to my list of reasons why I so desperately wanted to stop in the first place, I don't want to die but more importantly I don't want to live like I was doing back then when I kept thinking, I'll stop soon, as if one day it will be easy to just give it up, just like that, that day would not have come I had to get on with it and I am so glad I have.One thing which really helped me and I want to say again I am well into this quit and didn't actually consider smoking, but reading of long term quits where someone has had just one and they are hooked again really spelled out the fact that this is an addiction and I must never ever take a puff, its amazing that some of the stories are people who have been quit for years and years and yet still become hooked again quick as a flash. I also read the new members posts and remembered how far I have come and how much help and support I have had from people here. I will not lose this, I will not go back to smoking and those hideous days of sneaking, stinking and feel wretched.So I still miss my daughter, and feel a bit emotional at times but doing OK. Doc, Brian enjoy your children, they grow up so very fast and before you know it are flying the nest!! LuciexxI have been free for 3 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days, 13 hours and 30 minutes (115 days). I have saved £554.70 by not smoking 1,848 cigarettes.
Feb 21 11 10:38 AM
Mar 9 11 5:29 PM
Mar 10 11 8:19 AM
Mar 10 11 10:23 AM
I am lifting the comment below from the string "Come share your strength, come recognize your vulnerabilities?". In it we explain how we never want to put any undo pressure on any member to come and post. It is up to each and every member himself or herself to post whenever he or she wants to. We do hope though that members and non-members alike stop on by and read every now and then as time permits. Keeping ones own quit strong and secure is of paramount importance by all people who have quit smoking.
The practice of asking where a particular member is putting unwanted pressure on that person to post. It is also setting up a situation that can pose a real problem. There are times when a person is gone for weeks or even months at a time. If another member puts up a post asking where is so and so, there is a good chance the person will never see it and thus not respond. This can set up the perception that the person relapsed. There are times when this may be the case, but there are just as many times if not more where it was not the case. Actually, as I think back to the times when we have seen a post like "Where is what's his name," in most cases we knew the person was still off smoking, but it is not up to us to report on any specific member. Whenever we see posts come up asking about another member we are going to pull that post.
I should also point out that there are people who occasionally leave Freedom who are still not smoking. As some people grow more comfortable in their quits (see Freedom - your journey to comfort - a highly focused forum) they find our style of operation to restrictive. Sometimes a person will pull his or her own membership because of our structure, at other times we have pulled posting privileges of members because they were trying to shape Freedom's style into one that was more relaxed and social and better fitting their current state of being. Such actions though will weaken the level of focus that we keep at Freedom and we believe that level of focus is more important than the enjoyment of any particular person or even groups of people. So there are times when a person is no longer a member and thus cannot respond to a request for information. If a person is no longer a member it may mean many things and there is no way to know for sure. Even at times when we know the status of an individual the managers won't divulge that information unless that member or past member expressly tells us that they want us to pass along his or her information.
In summary, it is impossible to know for sure the status of a person who is not posting. When it comes down to it though, the only one person any member should be focusing on is himself or herself. The people who any member should be giving assistance to or looking to support are people who are expressly asking for such help. Put all available time you have into securing your own quit and put any extra time you have at the site into helping our new members or even a longer-term member who is asking for help. As I said, it is impossible to know for sure the status of a person who is not posting. The only thing that you can know for sure though is that your quit will stay strong and secure whether you are a member or not, or, whether you ever post or not just as long as you always remember to stick to the commitment you made to yourself to never take another puff!
Also from that thread:
I saw an incident where one member popped up a couple of posts of another longer term member who has not been here for a little over three months. I feel that it is necessary to point out that the same longer-term member once went six months without posting and another time went about another three month period. You can also tell from what he wrote in some of his previous posts that there are times that he does not even visit for months at a time.
I just saw a post from a member who was approaching her third year anniversary. We always like it when people have a chance to drop on in and say hello, even though we always make it clear that it is neither expected or required. I clicked on her posting history and the dates for her other previous posts were February of 2004, April of 2003 and December of 2002.
This example shows a great case in point of how if a member were to write "where is...insert name" on any given day on any given month, there is a good chance that the successful ex-smoker would not see the request and all assumptions would be that the person had relapsed.
I am using this one example to hit home the point that just because a person may not be posting no one should assume that he or she is smoking. I am not using this example in any way to make this successful member or any successful member feel that he or she should be posting more. Yes a long-term member is free to post as much as he or she would like as his or her time permits, but no individual member should is in any way feel pressured to post. The only pressure we wish to exert on our members is to take a little time to stop by and read to help further secure even long term quits.
The string No need to apologize also addresses this very issue. As that string says:
We know not everyone has time to stop by and write everyday. Some people don't have time to write every week or even every month. But do try to find the time to stop by and read every once in a while. Taking a few minutes to read can help to secure your quit. Securing your quit can help to buy you years and maybe even decades of extra time of a healthier and higher quality life. Make a point of stopping by every now and then to to read and strengthen your commitment and resolve to never take another puff!
Mar 10 11 11:32 AM
Joel Spitzer wrote:"I do occasionally wonder what happened to some who were very active and then disappear, quietly hoping that its due to the fact that they no longer need the support and are doing fine in their smoke free life."We know not everyone has time to stop by and write everyday. Some people don't have time to write every week or even every month. But do try to find the time to stop by and read every once in a while. Taking a few minutes to read can help to secure your quit. Securing your quit can help to buy you years and maybe even decades of extra time of a healthier and higher quality life. Make a point of stopping by every now and then to to read and strengthen your commitment and resolve to never take another puff!Joel
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