Hope you all are doing great. I have been quit for 6 days now. Feels very good.
I started when i was in a residential school. It was a military school and most of my seniors smoked. For me, this turned out to be a fancy and i started smoking one smoke per day with them for a few weeks. sometimes there used to smoke free days as there were too many physical activities and never used to get a break. Once i was smoking with my close friend and the cigarette broke for some reason leaving a thin layer of paper in between. We somehow joined the 2 pieces and smoked it. I felt very sick that night and decided i will never smoke again. That's it. I had stopped smoking and this went on for 4 years. Started my graduation and started living with my parents. I was quite studious for the first 2 years. There was no scope for thinking about anything else as life was perfect, until on the 3rd year of graduation i learnt of my best friend's smoking habit. My old/hidden addiction came to power and i took "one puff" from his cigarette and the addiction was returned to me in full force. After this, i have been a closet smoker for last 9 years smoking about a pack every day.
Being a smoker and that too a closet smoker have been the worst parts of my life. Everyday, every moment, i kept thinking about how can i get a fix and a lie(to present to my family) to get an opportunity to go out to get the fix. Sometimes(Especially Friday's) i used to leave from my workplace very late so that i would avoid the withdrawal at home. 2 years back, before my Kid was born, i quit for about 9 months and thought i had mastered the quit. one fine day, i still dont understand where the trigger came from, i just took one puff and i have been addicted for more than a year now. When my wife was delivering my baby, i was outside having a smoke. Whenever i think about this, i realize how selfish/crazy smoking had made me.
I am very happy now, 6 days into the quit/recovery. Usually, being a coset smoker, weekend's were the toughest for me and my dream was to be spending the weekend happily with family instead of always worrying about missing smoking. After my quit on Last wednesday, the weekend was very easy. I was calm and composed. was able to drive my kid to the park and play with her. Was able to drive my wife to her favourite temple. All this without worry about "my fix" .
I am very happy to be part of this community. This community and whyquit.com have given me the right education to stay quit. Looking forward to a healthier lifestyle. Good day.