Hello. My quit date is June 26, 2012, 8:38 a.m. 5 days, 12 hours, 20 minutes.
I have been addicted to one form of nicotine or another for nearly 20 years. About 6 years ago, I began NRT efforts. So instead of living with an addiction to cigarettes, I was (in no particular order) addicted to: the patch, the gum, and the lozenges. Every single time, I wound up smoking again. Earlier this year, I found WhyQuit, and I began to learn. I understand now why those efforts proved so hard for me. Oh, I tried hypnosis too, which lasted nearly 20 hours.
There are so many reasons I want to quit. I want to not be ashamed. I want to not be a liar. I want to be able to talk to people without a constant concern about the stink of smoke. And perhaps most importantly, I want to live. I would like to live a life in which I am not choosing to limit myself. So the time finally came for me to tackle this addition.
The first three days were fairly awful. I spent a lot of time in what felt like an angry daze. Although my thought process is a little more clear now, I've identified one weird element of my quit. I have used nicotine as The Reward for everything from mowing the lawn to completing my taxes... for almost 20 years. I would bribe myself into doing some undesirable chore, and reward my effort with poison. So now every time I am happy about being nicotine free? Trigger. It's a weird cycle, and I'm working on it. But it is hard.
The last time I quit cold turkey, I made it 14 days. I had not told anyone about the quit. I had not made myself accountable. I had not asked for any support. So when a very bad day came around the bend, I crumbled. This time, I am hopeful that by making my quit a little more public (both here and with friends), it will help me be stronger than the addiction.