Below is a portion of an e-mail we received and a portion of my reply:

"I still get on my soap box when my husband and friends smoke around me. I recite stories from WhyQuit and tips from the forums. I am mostly trying to encourage them to join me in my freedom."
"So far my quit has motivated a good friend and her husband to quit and my husband's best friend has just told me he has set his quit date. I am hoping that this will be the motivation my husband needs to finally quit. He has tried a few times over the last 6 months, just not succesfully."
Ex-smoker

As for working with smokers around us, do you remember what it was like when those who used to smoke around us somehow managed to quit and were throwing it in our face, encouraging us to quit too? Somehow they seemed the worst. I believe our feelings toward them involved multiple factors.
First, they appeared to be doing something that deep down we may have then felt that we couldn't. Their excitement did little for us other than possibly generate acid producing anxieties that had us needing to smoke even more. Didn't they realize that they were toying with our personal dream of quitting, at a time of our choice and in the manner we saw fit? Why should we cast our own dream aside and take this person's advice? On top of that, if we succeeded while using their advice then they would have likely taken credit for our quitting, for the rest of our life. It would be like them having two birthdays, theirs and ours.
A drug addict's rationalizations are for the most part totally irrational but they are also totally theirs. The smart friend searches for subtle ways to allow them to include resources like Joel's Library, WhyQuit, Freedom and Ask Joel into their dream instead of replacing it. Maybe just an article printed and left for them to read, maybe an entire copy of Joel's Library (or his Never Take Another Puff book - http://whyquit.com/joel/ntap.pdf ). If you feel resistance then back track a bit by letting them know that knowledge is simply a tool to be used or ignored, that you cannot endure a single crave for them and that any victory will be 100% theirs.
John