Today is day 14 almost 15. Managed to get through the second weekend nicotine free. The afternoon of day 11 into the afternoon of day 12 was especially brutal. The rationalizations simply kept coming in waves. Each one more intense than the last. Frankly my inner self simply ran out of energy to continue the onslaught. I found day 13 to still be full of thoughts, urges, and cravings though not as stong as previous ones. Seems like the tide has turned towards me a bit. I seem to be the stronger one though not by much. Really struggling with who this person is who does not use nicotine. He is new to me. A bit concerned about what my life will be like with this person who does not use. Everything is so new.
Printed Joel's articles into a binder on my kitchen table. Certainly lots of reading and writing in my journal along with simply facing the inner self got me through this second weekend.
Felt the need to post and document my struggles so I will REMEMBER how difficult the quitting process is for me.
I do know that I will have to deal with life whether smoking or not. I prefer to engage the present and future nicotine free with the patience, calmness, and self control I have learned thus far. I do like the fresh air in my lungs, the quiet confidence, honesty, energy, and how good my brain feels without nicotine.
Surly I am fearful and uncomfortable with this emerging person. Yet with the patience and strength of baby steps, I will never take another puff.
I have been quit for 2 Weeks, 13 hours, 37 minutes and 52 seconds (14 days). I have saved $47.34 by not smoking 291 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day and 15 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 6/3/2007 8:00 PM