I want to thankyou all for responding and supporting.
It is so encouraging to hear that this will pass and my precious Friday'will be enjoyable once again. I am expecting too much in 11 weeks. It's funny when you feel slightly vunerable the thoughts rush past saying just one wouldn't harm but it is true it would not just be one. One thing I dont't miss was that first one of the day I used feel the energy sap from me and feel lethargic for a while after, so I dont't know why I fantasized that the Friday ones were better and they were my reward It's mad !!addiction messes up your thoughts and throws out logical thinking. I know one thing I don't want to poison myself.
Take care
Andrea