Welcome Kimberly,
When your ex began smoking again after eleven years without a cigarette, what do you think it was that he thought he would get from smoking again? You said that you picked up again to spite him which in itself shows a lack of understanding you had then about addiction but he must have believed smoking tobacco would provide some relief from the stress of your break up even after eleven years without it. How strong the associations are that we create with tobacco that without knowing the truth about nicotine addiction, will provide an excuse to use it again.
Education is the key to learning to live with your addiction in the sense that if you understand why you smoke tobacco, you will be able to use reason to combat the urge to light up not only in the early stages of recovery but later on when the uneducated recovering addict might otherwise think it safe to have one for whatever reason.
It is obvious from your post that your lurking has begun to give you a sense of what addiction is and how to deal with the early stages of recovery. I encourage you to continue to read as much as possible. Fill your mind with as much information as you can. What you retain will come to your aid during a difficult moment and buy you the time you need to realize that true freedom from withdrawal comes only from abstinence not from another hit of nicotine. A few hits on a cigarette will stave off withdrawal only for about 45 minutes. If you never take another puff you will never go through withdrawal again.
You are already a successful recovering nicotine addict just as I am. We both remain nicotine free one day at a time.
Joseph
3 years 10 months