Each time I see this thread it brings back memories of my dumpster episode that OBob was so kind to link to his thread describing my desparate need for a fix.
This morning I read a post from Tracy and she made mention to Dumpster Diving for food. I think people will do just about anything if there need is great enough. To recover food from a dumpster or trash bin just may be life sustaining for someone in dire straits. To snatch a cigarette butt from a dumpster for a fix is addiction to its fullest.
At over 2 1/2 years into my quit, it still amazes me what an addcit will do for a fix. When I wrote my first post describing my efforts to retrieve my bestest friend from that cold and lonely dumpster that fatefull night in December, I left out a part, at the time I just couldn't mention. My decision to leave my friend to succumb to suffocation with the next load of garbage dropped on him was just not based on an intelligent decision that nicotine is harmful to my health. Today I cannot place in proportion what percent of my decision was based my knowledge that nicotine is detrimental to my health or based on the fact the shovel I described going to get to collect that butt was one in the same my wife and I used to clean up after our dog.
Regardless of what actually weighed the heaviest on my decision to let the butt be makes no difference because the outcome of that night is, I made the right decision. The fact that I was willing to use that shovel to retrieve a butt from a dirty dumpster to relieve my withdrawal symptoms proves how desparate an addict I am while actively feeding.
I did that because I am an addcit.
Roger