Oh gosh, I've been waiting for this one...

Have you ever lit your fingernail polish on fire trying to light a tiny used stub?
Burned off some hair and lots of eyebrows over the stove lighting a different but equally tiny previously-smoked stub?
Given a false excuse to drive alone for several hours (so you can secretly smoke in the car) to get to and from a field trip while your very witty and fun classmates are having a party in the school van without you?
Burned your little girl's arm by accident with your cig cherry?
Disconnected the smoke alarm because it was being "over-sensitive" to your smoke?

Or my most pea-headed offerring here...
Lit up in an area with possible lingering highly flammable fumes thinking "it's PROBABLY ok by now"????

I have because I'm an addict

Thank God I'm still alive and standing.
Janet