I am ashamed and horrified to admit that I smoked while nursing my newborn baby. Not only was she getting all of the nasties of a cigarette through my breast milk, but all of the nasties of secondhand smoke from my lit cigarette too. Thank God I never dropped an ash on her! I also opened my hospital window and smoked in FEBRUARY with my other newborn baby rooming in and freezing. I actually packed air freshener so I could smoke and "get away with it" - the nurses knew exactly what was up, but I kept doing it; no shame then at all.
That's something that just blows me away now when I consider it... how as a smoker I had absolutely no shame to speak of. And no consideration for others what-so-ever when it came to my smoking; I smoked in several non-smoking hotel rooms and used cups with water for my ashtray. I can't count the number of times my older children watched me dig through the trash looking for butts when I'd either run out of money for a new pack or it was too late and the store was closed.
I've actually gone without a car for almost 3 years because I live on disability and can't afford a new car AND cigarettes. I didn't get my last car out of a tow yard (after allowing a friend to borrow it and they were pulled over and my car towed) because if I had, then I'd have no money for cigarettes.
I drove drunk to buy cigarettes and had a car accident which caused me to lose my license and now have to file bankruptcy to get it back because the owner of the other vehicle sued me for damages and until it's paid or claimed I'm blocked from getting my license.
All of these things are very hard to admit, but I'm doing it because I'm hoping that someone else reading this who either hasn't quit or has but hasn't joined our group will realise the dispicable things we as addicts are capable of for a fix.
Nicotine addiction is for real. The ability to quit is also very real.
I am imageproudlyimage rid of nicotine through any sort of delivery device for 2 weeks, two days, 12 hours, 44 minutes and 10 seconds. 247 cigarettes not smoked, saving $52.57. I have restored 20 hours, 35 minutes of my precious life. I give this gift to not only myself, but to all who know and love me.image

Humbly,

Em