I hope that by replying to this it makes the whole thread visible to new people. (Can you tell I don't know how to do this discussion stuff very well?)
I have to say that it took me a few hours reading every message on this thread and it made me laugh out loud and cry as well as nod and empathise. It was mainly nice to see that I am not the worst most addicted ex smoker in the world, that so many people have felt the full force of the nicotine roar..surrounding myself with non-smoking friends is a bit lonely, but this thread makes me feel surrounded by soulmates. Thanks so much to all of you for sharing your stories and giving us newer people strength,.
I never let myself run out of ciggs because I was too scared. Only in my previous "quits" did I pick up butts..in fact, I started the last smoking bout by lighting a butt from the ashtray - mmn nn lovely. Addictied? If the nicotine gum wasn't doing the trick on a long flight, I put my smoked in the airplane toilet with my head half way down the toilet bowl... - can you tell I am a well-educated business woman?
Thanks again for your strength.