Zep;
How did you know I was feeling this? How did you know I needed to hear this? You hit the nail on the head for me today! I gave up a 7 month quit (almost 8) due to my husband being in a bombing. I didn't know if he was alive or dead for almost a day. It was a Navy wives nightmare. Khaki's everywhere, brass as far as the eye can see and no word! It was awful, but I didn't smoke...UNTIL IFOUND OUT HE WAS ALIVE!!! Go figure! I have no clue why I did that. Relief? The fact that everyone else left the room to go outside and have one and I followed? I worked so very hard last time. The Lord was with me. And here I am four months later through Hell week. It has been very hard. I am scared that the next time I just won't have the will to quit. I am hanging onto this quit like it is my last chance. Your letter proved to me that no matter what type of stress comes our way, in the laws of an addict, we should NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF. That has been the life saving phrase to me and wish I hadn't rationalized it away last time. Now I know better. Thanks for a post that really hit between the eyes. I was starting to wonder why I had started now, why didn't I wait until he went out to sea again in a year or so. I just keep telling myself it was too soon. I must stop the JUNKIE thinking and move on. Thanks Zep!
KTQ
Kim
day8