Welcome Andi, and congratulations on 10 days! While I wasn't a closet smoker, I too felt enormous shame about being addicted to nicotine. Add to that the amount of denial and avoidance needed to maintain the addiction and you have a recipe for low self-esteem. I have found that being free of that cringing shameful feeling is one of the best benefits of quitting. This site is an amazing source of inspiration and support and it sounds like you've taken advantage of a lot of the information and education already. You are well on your way! KTQ.
Ione
50 days