ForgotPassword?
Sign Up
Search this Topic:
Forum Jump
Mar 16 06 12:31 AM
This is the story of the first really bad trigger I had during my quite. I felt like I had to post this because it is such a stark example of what nicotine did to my thinking.
It was friday afternoon and some dark clouds were rolling in, which is pretty typical for the pacific northwest. I had quit 5 days earlier, on monday, and I felt pretty good about my quit at that point. I was starting to feel a little more comfortable...and a little more confident. I made a cup of tea and was already to sit down and do some reading when all of a sudden I looked out the window - it was snowing!
Where I live, it only snows about once a year (if that), so this was big news. For those of us that never see it, snow means it's time to go outside and play! I grabbed my cup of tea, put on my boots and stepped out onto the deck. It was a beautiful thing...to see the big snowflakes falling so silently in the air. The sky looked so peaceful. So many things were going through my mind....but I unfortunately I must admit that the very first thing I thought of when I walked outside was a cigarette. Not just because I was outside (I'd already faced that trigger dozens of times), but because of the *snow*.
Somehow the snow was a nicotine trigger. The SNOW! There are lots of triggers but this one seemed to be particularly tragic. It is such a defenseless thing...so innocent. How could it be subjugated to nicotine?
I cannot say for sure what exactly about the snow caused me to think of cigarettes, but I suspect it is similar to the way holidays can be trigger situations. It is an event that only happens once in a great while, which in previous years I had always marked with cigarettes outside, watching the snow fall. This time, I had a deep craving that was more intense than the typical cravings I encountered throughout the day. My experience with snow was inexplicably linked to nicotine. The moment I realized what was going on, I was revolted. Already 5 days into my quit, I knew that these "rare" triggers would come up....but I wasn't expecting one to hit me right then, when I looked out the window and saw snow falling.
Actually, I handled the situation very rationally. I simply remembered the principles of addiction, and said to myself, "You know that this is merely a trigger situation, and that you are more able to enjoy the snow now that you aren't addicted to nicotine." And it worked!
That afternoon turned out to be a great experience after the craving passed. I had always wanted that peace and calm of the snow to rub off on me. This time, though, it actually did.
Interact
Share This