Cathy,
Welcome to Freedom. Congratulations for taking the necessary steps to become nicotine free. I agree with Melissa. Your first post is brutally honest. It brings back vivid memories to my mind as well how the first few days felt. The anxiety. The fear of failure..........again and again.
Realizing and accepting I am a full blown substance abuse addict was also a difficult concept for me to wrap my mind around. Although once accepted, that in itself was enough fuel for my fire to keep my resolve to remain nicotine free. For me it was over 35 years of feeding my addiction before I finally was able to break the cycle of multiple daily feedings. Once I began reading at Whyquit and Freedom I had no logical excuse to keep using cigarettes to deliver my drug of choice. Education is such a powerful tool.
The emotional roller coaster you are riding does subside in time. Exactly when cannot be predicted as all quits are different. the following thread explains that. I am also attaching other threads that may help you. Read them even if you have already done so.
In the begining of a quit, it can be a challenge to remain focused due to so much change taking place. Accept that change for what it is. See it as a positive healing process and not a negative by product resulting from nicotine withdrawal. The changes you are experiencing emotionally and physically are good. Always try to keep in the front of your mind the following truth. That truth is, What you are experiencing as you withdraw physically and psychologically from nicotine is just temporary. The comfort you desire by not feeding your addcition will most definitely happen as long as you never violate the law of addiction. That is one promise I can make to you. Comfort finds everyone if comfort is what you are looking for.
Make time each day to read and educate yourself. Knowledge is such a powerful tool. In the begining of a quit our determination moves us along. After a period of time that gives way to knowledge and understanding. Once we understand what our addcition is all about it becomes easier to keep it at bay.
Be patient with you as well as your progress. Believe in the concept of one day at a time. Believe in yourself.
One Step At A Timeimage
Roger
4 Years and Beyond