Cathy,
Welcome! I am in a major way awe-struck by your first post. Covers all the bases, runs the gamut. But at the core you have the answer for your question. You are sucessfully quit and well on your way.
... It is the knowledge that I have gained from WhyQuit.com to understand the difference between a habit and an addiction and the uncompromising level of commitment it is going to take to find freedom from the irrational and unhealthy demands of a life that is controlled by nicotine: NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF.
The question. Will I succeed?
I know that a part of the intensity of my craves these past three days has to do with coming to terms with this. When I set the goal of quitting, it was to overcome this addiction, not to discover the addict in me. Facing that also brings on a lot of fear and panic and vulnerability, all of which have to be dealt with for the first time in 32 years without the numbing comfort of nicotine. It's a vicious circle, really.
It is a viscious circle. A viscious Cycle. .....and so it was for image me one particular picture (worth at least a thousand words) that turned on the image light of Truth so brightly that I could not but help to see.
Disconnect the cycle - only have to do it Once - I realized at the beginning it was all that was necessary to break the shackle of addiction that for so long, nearly all my life had entrapped me. Simply remove the step of the process between Generate Crave and Inhale New Nicotine.
No Nicotine - just for the rest of today. Do-able. Attainable. I can do today. Each day awake to say "I am not going to smoke today!".
The next struggle I am having is facing the newness of a nicotine-free lifestyle. It's so unknown to me and I feel lost and unsure about what to do next. I had a lot of nicotine-free dreams and goals but they are confusing to me now because I don't know who I am or who I am supposed to be.
Live for Each new day, you will discover how to find Your own way.
Just NTAP and Everything will be OK. Please Trust. We Promise.
It will get better. As Nicotine Free John said several years ago - 'A friend asked me how long it had been since my quit was getting bettter. I told him .... it had been getting better every day since i put out my last one.'
JoeJFree always a nicotine addict and gratefully now an EX-smoker for 1 year, 17 days, 17 hours, 2 minutes and 12 seconds (382 days)
I've now reclaimed 33 Days and 5 Hours to live how I choose! image
NTAP!