Wow, Crystal,

Your story has me feeling sheepish about the whining I was just writing in my journal. I was having a tough day today (my 15th without cigs, 12th without nicotine), but reading your story brought me right out of my self-pity and hyper-anxiety--

Congratulations are in order, believe it or not-- you are free now, if you have declared yourself so-- no more nicotine, no more inhaling poison! I hope you are determined, and resolute, taking it one day at a time.

Your hospital ordeal (and all that pain you endured) might actually make the tough days ahead a little easier to endure. But, it also might help if you don't think you must quit, but that you choose to quit, choosing to set yourself free from the poison that hurts your lungs.

Be careful not to over-associate this trip to the ER and your illness with your choice to stop smoking-- some people have made the mistake of quitting while scared and ill, but relapse when their health returns. I speak from experience, there.

I also had my lung collapse, way back when I was 20-- the result of a street fight in which I sustained a stab-wound under my armpit, nicking the sac around the lung. I had the tube sucking out the juice, attached to the pump-- and, I actually wheeled myself into the bathroom to sneak a puff! Pulling the pump along with me, IV's and tangles of tubes, watching over my shoulder for the nurse. Heck, I had one good lung at the time, good enough for my drug delivery system--

I nearly knocked myself over with that crazy stunt, but it is a testament to the power of addiction, the crazy chemical process that the poison nicotine engineers in our brains.

I can also identify with the crave-trigger you experienced-- talking on the phone with someone. I've had a few phone conversations during my first week, which had me squirming. I was surprised to find myself experiencing so much extra anxiety and tension, just talking on the phone, and I am sure that is a psychological crutch that we are learning to live without.

But it gets easier... I'm still squirming in my 2nd week, but I know what to expect now, and that does make it easier...

That is what I am keeping in mind, and I encourage you to read here, to keep reading, to keep on the lookout for similar people fighting similar craves, and hanging on--

Those are your lungs, and I hope you get them back, 100%, and I encourage you to keep coming here, and to never take another puff of poison! Hopefully, you are enjoying your inhalations now, and treasure the clean air--

Stick with it Crystal!

Jim


I have been quit for 1 Week, 5 Days, 3 hours, 52 minutes and 53 seconds (12 days). I have saved $85.12 by not smoking 486 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 16 hours and 30 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/16/2006 4:20 PM