re-post
Hi Naymor / Isabell
You've arrived at Green on yer own two feet……….AWESOME!
Now….. hop on the bus.. it just gets easier and more comfortable from now on…..
Apologies for "hogging space" on your "special day" posting, and apologies for the length of this posting - but I wanted to include it in your "Green Parade" posting - to feel sure you'd read it, and maybe re-read it.
On the "Can we enhance a smoker's determination to quit?" thread, you wrote:
"….I really was desperate to be stopped but having tried and failed several times, I was scared to try again, I just kept thinking what is the point of keep on trying and keep on failing, so looking at that I have to admit that yes I did have the desire, I was just missing everything else to support that desire. I also have to agree with what Knowbutts said.You just cant make a person see what we now see if they are just not ready themselves, I have done the same in that I have printed of what I class as "must reads" for my husband and he just sort of humours me, I too have had to back off for fear of making him go the opposite way and dig his heels in about smoking, as I know he is now going through the thoughts that he would like to quit, but I think he like I was , is too afraid to try. I wish I had a way of getting the education that I have recieved from here, through to him. Any ideas anyone?
I had a long-time partner who quit smoking a few years back, and I didn't. Like you and many others here, the reason we are now "confident" quitters stems from a meshing together of "wanting to quit" and "education and support" which we get from this site. The result is "quit preservation". In the past, even though we'd wanted to quit (ie. we'd wanted to have quit preservation), we didn't know how - so we thought: "I'm not putting myself through those first 72 hours, because I know I'm not going to be able to sustain it". I suspect that's where your husband is. But I suspect he now has the added pressure of seeing your success. You've been nicotine free for a month now. In my own situation, years back, the more successful my partner's quit became, the more "daunting" it became for me to even start. "Wow… she's quit for over a month…. I'll never be able to do that…. so I'm not even going to try…..then I won't have to concede anything…" (junkie kinda thinking). I suspect your husband while he must be pleased for you, is also a tad envious. He's probably not "humouring you" (in your words) by not reading what you put in front of him. He's probably a tad embarrassed that you've come so far. Today, or all days, could just be the time for him to grab the strength, and grab your support, that he needs to "spread those wings and fly"
You are one of the most "regular" posters on here. I've read your postings on your diary (on the good days and the bad days) and I've read your postings to other people (on their good days and their bad days)….. and I just know you must be feeling absolutely unbelievably proud to have hit the one month mark. Reading your postings, people will see how you've overcome difficulty, the support you've received, and the support you've given which has helped others overcome difficulty. They show how strong you are, how caring you are, how un-judgmental you are, and how joyful you are about what you've achieved and what others are achieving.
So here's my tip for helping your husband: ((Disclaimer: I'm a newbie and not as well read or versed as some on this group. But here's my theory)):
Don't print any of Joel's or anybody else's stuff (I write that not at all to devalue it, it's priceless, and your husband can always read it later - but there's stuff here at Freedom that I think he'll be able to more closely relate to). Print your own stuff, print this posting (my words here - and probably others who've come to know you). Print your diary of when you were up, when you were down. Print your postings to Kim, Kellie, Kylie, Ashless, JFK, Glenys, Bob, Roger, Marty, Russell, Alice, Janet, Razor, Gazza (umm…. that one was a joke) etc., Don't even ask your hubby to read them. Go to bed early, but leave them lying around….(maybe with these words on top) Believe me…. he'll read them (in quiet, on his own) - and he CANNOT FAIL TO BE (re-) TOUCHED BY THE FACT THAT HE IS MARRIED TO A VERY SPECIAL WOMAN.
With yours and Freedom's support, hopefully this will tip him over the edge into his own quit… which you'll both be motivated to preserve.

OK… like I said, I'm no expert, and this is just my theory… and that from a poncey sutherner who's 8,000 miles from home……but one who has been nicotine free for 51 days……..and sooooooooooo motivated to keeping it preserved
Many congratulations, Isabell…..keep coming back and posting…..an' naymor puffs, aareet, pet? !!!!
Richard…
OK…… shoot….. sorry this is soooooo long….now, to celebrate your "Green-ness" here's some Geordie humour, from Gary Hogg, that I found lying around on the net…. Enjoy !!!!!:

There's a seagull called Cecil on Tyneside
I'm sure you've all probably heard
That he's not keen on heights and hates flying
It's a bugger, is that, for a bird

He walks everywhere, does Cecil the seagull
Or he hitches a lift when he can
On a train or a wagon or summit
But mostly on Joe's ice cream van

It's a funny old van, Joe Quadrini's
Got a pretend spaceship on t'roof
Which for Cecil is quite warm and quite comfy
The only way to travel to tell't truth

In the summer Joe goes down the seafront
So Cecil tags along for the ride
And the kids look out for the ice cream man
And the spaceship with a seagull inside

One day at the visitor's centre
Cecil was raking round the bins for some scraps
When he noticed a concerned looking pigeon
Who were looking for summit on't map

"Y'aareet mate?" say's Cecil, "You lost then?,
Are you needing a hand? What's the crack?"
The pigeon says "Je m'appele Pierre I'm from Paris,
Je suis buggered if I can find me way back"

"I 'ave no sense, 'ow you say, of direction,
Je suis crap at zis 'oming malarkey
But they keep shipping me off to some far away place
And your climate I find a tad parky

"Aye, it's not ower hot" Says our Cecil
Sort of putting Pierre at his ease
"But divvent ye worry, wus'll soon get yer hyem"
But Pierre he says "Speak English please"

So Cecil spoke louder and slower
And suggested he'd best go by air
He says "You'd best get a plane from the airport"
Pierre says "How ze hell will I find me way there"

"Nowts the bother, bonny lad," Says our Cecil
Raising his voice to a shout
"You can come for a ride in me spaceship,
And we'll get you to the airport for nowt."

The pigeon stood open mouthed when he saw it
"Zut alors zis is , ow you say, trendy?"
But Cecil says "Divvent get carried away,
It's not real, you know, it's only pretendy"

Joe Quadrini had just sold his last ninety-nine
And was shutting up shop to go home
When the pigeon and the seagull hopped onto his roof
So he chucked them a few broken cones

They made their way home on the Old Coast Road
But then Cecil was having his doubts
All the traffic was bumper to bumper
Cos the Ministry was just getting out

They were stuck outside Four Lane Ends Metro
When Cecil grabbed hold of Pierre
He says "Howway, bonny lad, sod this for a lark,
We'll hop on that tram over there"

They hopped on just in time as the tram pulled away
And the ride from then on was quite rough
And they had to hang on to the buffers
Cos the roofs all electrics and stuff

But it only took twenty two minutes
They'd to change at South Gosforth of course
And by the time that they got to the airport
They both felt they'd been kicked by a horse

But they soon found a trolley full of cases
'Charles De Gaulle Airport' it read
Cecil shouts "Hop on and mind, keep yer heed doon"
Pierre says "Je ne comprehend pas what you said"

"Orry Vwa then" says Cecil, "And av a bon trip"
In the little bit French that he'd learnt
But Pierre just looked at him like was daft
So he looked at him back, like he weren't

He could see the poor pigeon was frightened
But doing his best to be brave
Then a truck come and pulled at the trolley
And he sobbed and give Cecil a wave

And when Cecil got home and settled down for the night
He was starting to have a few doubts
About Pierre stuck at Charles De Gaulle airport
And still trying to find the way out!