So, it's been 2 weeks and one day...and I continue to read everything this website has to offer...because I need to, and because it is helping.  I have been having waves of bad moments, a real "hankerin"... I try to jot "the feeling" down on a piece of paper at work, put it in my pocket so I can look it up at home on this website.  Seems silly but I usually find somone or some sentence from someone's post that is my "ah ha!" moment....and just feeling that I'm not alone is a lot of help.  Really when going through this, it's helpful to know someone was or is as miserable as I am, but even more helpful ...THEY GOT THROUGH IT....YAY!  SO WILL I! "YAY!  Thank you Joel for having this "place to go" and thank you "all you people" who  aren't here to just be "cheerleaders" and back thumpers and who REALLY UNDERSTAND how miserable and how EUPHORIC I can be all in one day.  I'll be reaching out for you all again.....Gaylo