Hi Donna, thank you for posting, and thank you for the poem!  It is great. I wrote it down and taped it to my bathroom mirror. You are very smart! Thank you also, Joel, for all the postings, especially the ones about depression. It made a lot of sense. I did go see my family doctor, and we sat down and had a long heart-to-heart talk. I had been planning on having a facelift done last month, and I cancelled pretty much at the last minute. I just got scared. My only son is getting married in June. I feel threatened, like I am being replaced. And, frankly I am not too thrilled with his choice of a partner. But, he is 29 years old, definitely old enough to make his own decisions. So we shall see what the future brings. I am 51 years old. And I quit smoking, and it still bothers me. 56 days today, and am still having crying spells and snapping at people for no reason. The end result, was my doctor diagnosed me with depression. He said between the facelift, and my son's wedding, and being 51 years old, I am having a bit of a mid-life crisis. And, he said quitting smoking is a great idea, but it can be stressful. My doctor has been treating me, as well as my parents, and my sister and her family, for over 15 years. Depression sort of runs in my family, and if left untreated, the results can be devastating. My brother ended his own life at age 33, after years of fighting an addiction to cocaine. My mother was an alcoholic for the better part of her 53-year marriage to my dad. About 5 years ago she went in to an in-patient treatment program in St. Helena, Ca., and she has been sober ever since. I thank God every day for giving me my mother back! So, now I guess its my turn.Looking back on the past few months, I should have put 2 and 2 together on my own.  My doctor put me on an anti-depressant medication, which hopefully will start kicking in soon (it can take a few days to start working).

I know I am no different than any person who has read this. By that I mean, you have all faced adversity, and ugliness, and pain, and sadness in your lives. And we have all decided, through it all, no matter what, to quit smoking and never go back. I dont know if this helps anyone, but I also started a journal, and it is really helping me to write things down. I recommend it.

To all of the newcomers who just quit a few days ago....keep going!    It is tough at times, but it is worth it. To all of the green-and-beyond ex-smokers...thank you for being here, for being strong, and for taking the time to write and be so inspirational. I know you all have lives to live, and I so appreciate all of you! 

Count me in...56 days and counting.....no nicotine today!  (tomorrow's not looking good for the cancer sticks, either!)
Sue R