Lucie -

I was also a closet smoker, for close to 40 years.   My husband knew I smoked, but I tried to hide it from my children (they are now 28 and 26). I also hid it from my friends.   I understand what you are saying about those times you are "allowed" to smoke when you are home alone.  That was a difficult situation for me as I only smoked on my back porch, so it was a cue to smoke when I was home alone.  Like you I found reading on the site is a good activity to keep my life on track.  (I also completed a number of projects around the house that I never had the time to do.)

It has been 9 months for me now.  I feel so much better, not only because I am healthier, but I also do not have the stress of having to find my alone time to have a smoke.  Instead I am spending time with my husband and friends in more entertaining activities.  I also found that I have been more motivated to eat better and exercise - to be a healthier person. 

Keep up the great work.  The rewards keep building and you will never regret freeing yourself from the demands of your nicotine addiction.  Keep reading and above all remember to NTAP!

Nancy