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Feb 10 11 10:16 AM
I'm feeling really low and sad and there's a little voice telling me a cigarette would make it all better - firstly, I know full well it will change nothing and after 3 and a half months I am not going to throw this quit away, I've come too far, its too precious and I do not want to return to the dark days of smoking. My emotions have just taken me by surprise, my daughter (she's 19) went to Africa on Tuesday volunteering she will be away from home for 5 months (going to Australia and NZ too) and I miss her so dreadfully. I think the biggest thing for me is that this is the start, her horizons will be broadened and I'm sure she will want more, as will my other daughters, which is great I want them to see and experience wonderful things but my emotions are so raw.I am at home alone, feeling sorry for myself and smoking keeps popping into my head - I hate it, I feel so vulnerable, I could blow this so easily. My answer is to come here and read read read, like I did several months ago right at the start of my journey. So thank you to all those from whom I am taking strength - funnily enough the newer members who are going through the hardest part - you remind me how I do not want to start all over again, why I began this in the first place. If I'm honest I think I am also feeling so very sorry for all the lost time when I sneaked away from my girls to smoke, but I am a good Mum, I was just a horrible addict and I will not let it take over my life again.A little sad, and a little lonely but still not taking a single puff.LuciexxxxxxI have been free for 3 Months, 2 Weeks, 4 Days, 17 hours and 13 minutes (110 days). I have saved £531.44 by not smoking 1,771 cigarettes. I have saved 6 Days, 3 hours and 35 minutes of my life.
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