Hi Lucie,

Saw your post and wanted to reply.  I understand how you are feeling.  For years we convinced ourselves that inhaling smoking tobacco residue was the cure for whatever we were going through.  It takes us a good bit of effort and time to re-wire those thought patterns and associations that were built on the lie that we smoked because of or to enable us to do everything.  In reality, we inhaled smoke to keep withdrawal at bay and alleviate the constant anxiety of needing another dose.  Sort of like smoking breaks - we didn't need the breaks we needed to smoke more nicotine so we made a break in whatever we were doing to take in some more.  Our breaks became associated with the smoking action because we did it everywhere, anywhere, anytime we could.  Living free replaces all of those associations eventually.

You daughter being away and living on her own - I understand that all too well too.  My son, our youngest, moved away to Texas for work in July.  1200 miles away.  That is part of living life for both him and me.  Nicotine dependency has nothing to do with it and returning to active addiction would not bridge that gap.  Your daughter being away from you is going to take some adjustment too.  You'll both make it through and be better for the experience.

I can see from your writing that you know that smoking is not the solution it is the problem.  Quitting is not a problem it is the solution to a problem.  Living free of nicotine - as we are meant to be - is something we get more and more used to the longer we keep our promise until it becomes our new (and original) normal.  Reading, walking, writing a letter or e-mail, giving a call...all those things will help to push away your boredom.  It's ok to be sad, it's part of life.  But also be proud of your daughter for her adventurous spirit and of you for choosing to take your life back and live it on your terms.  Stay clean & stay free by choosing for the rest of today to NTAP (not take another puff).

Congratulations on your earning Bronze Club status as well.  For many members it is after Bronze and on the way to Silver that the true comfort and calm of
Becoming an ex-smoker  starts to settle in.  Keep on going, it will happen for you too Lucie.

One more thing I'll add.  That little voice?  It's the former activbe junkie part of your brain that still believes a fix would help you.  We both know it won't help anything about your current or future situation.  I used to tell myself 'I don't do that anymore'.  Eventually, that addicted brain part of me got the message. Thumbsup  Reminders from your executive assistant

Joe J free 73 months

Edited 4 times by Joe J free Feb 10 11 4:24 PM.