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Freedom from Nicotine - a cold turkey nicotine dependency recovery forum
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Hi to everyone and a HUGE thank you
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Re: Hi to everyone and a HUGE thank you
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Lucie
Feeling Odd, advice from freedom family please
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Jun 18 11 5:11 AM
I quit nearly eight months ago and am so happy to be a non smoker, but I haven't forgotten the misery of being a smoker, made worse by being a closet smoker.
I had a funny time a few months ago when my daughter left on her travels, I was very proud of her but missed her dreadfully, I had some lovely support from my freedom family and it helped enormously.
She came home yesterday and I was so happy to see her but she has brought back a nasty addiction!! yep you guessed it she's smoking and I hate it and don't really know what, if anything, to do. On the one hand, I feel slightly jealous, no not that she's smoking but the ease with which she has come home and says she's going out for a cigarette, my smoking addiction dominated my life for decades and it was always so difficult hiding it. I think in a way by hiding it, it always made me feel like a stupid little girl, whereas she's 19 and acting like "I'm an adult" I was never able to do that.
I also feel that she has been traveling, done what she wants, when she wants and I think she's almost proving a point - I've grown up, I'm independent (not that we treated her like a child before she left but hopefully I'm making this clear).
So do I leave her be? or should I try to talk to her and perhaps show her whyquit? Although I was a secret smoker I have realised that my girls knew more than I thought, its never been discussed and I feel embarrassed about my hiding, it was awful. Do I admit how awful to her. Should I be completely honest with her about my own addiction, the thought fills me with horror only because I am so embarrassed by what I used to do.
I am surprised by how many of her friends smoke, I want to tell them to avoid the whole quitting experience, its not worth it, I want to tell my daughter this but should I?
It has also brought smoking back into my house (outside!), I do feel strong in my quit but also aware that one puff and its all over.
Thank you all, just being able to type out my feelings into my journal helps enormously.
Lucie
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