I really appreciated your reply Joe, I thought about it during the day and I want to say firstly that it was comforting in a way to hear you talk about your son and his addiction, at some point our children make their own choices but I can't help feeling guilty that perhaps I had a hand in her path down the smoking route.  I also felt your love for your son and understanding, I think I had this way of thinking that being a smoker makes you a bad person, which therefore taints my lovely girl.  I love her dearly but want to stop her heading for a smoking life!

It was also really helpful to hear it from a Dad's perspective, my husband has never smoked and therefore does not understand how smoking completely dominated my life, he saw me smoking every now and again without realising how much I did when he wasn't there, therefore considers that I "had it under control" I knew I didn't but have since learnt so much more about the addiction and I am going to pick the right time when it's just the two of us (my daughter and I) and see how much I can make her understand, I can't say I'm confident about being so honest but really believe you are right I need to make her see how smoking screwed up so many aspects of my life and that now it is so much better.  I've just re read that and "so much better" doesn't even begin to describe it!!!

Just another weird thing, last night I had a smoking dream, haven't had one of those for ages, it wasn't really a smoking dream I think it was more dreaming about things that are on my mind, I was wandering around streets trying to find a corner where I could smoke without anyone knowing - back to the good old days eh??!!!  

I have copied and printed the lovely logo "only you can take your quit away from you" its going in my purse as a reminder, not that I don't feel 100% committed to staying a non smoker but its always good to have a little reminder of whose in charge of it!!

Joe J thank you again for giving me your thoughts as a Dad and someone who has been quit for a very long time. Made me feel like I'm not on my own trying to untangle my thoughts and feelings - really appreciated.

Love

Lucie
xxxxxx