Tracy,
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It's possible you may not feel nor believe it some days but you are a courageous trooper! And I am thankful you share your circumstance here. This thread expresses reality , to give a meassge to others, especially those who are still using nicotine, that illnesses do happen, that fear is real, that regrets are human nature, that self-forgiveness brings healing, and most of all, that in sharing, we are all able to come together to support, pray, and offer little words of encouragement to each other, whether in our quits or our infirmities from a former lifestyle choice. If we can multiply our joys here, and divide the tough times, we are truly a caring and internetted community of freedomites. I too can relate to saying no, I don't smoke, when I filled out a form for eye surgery. Yes, it is a grand and happy feeling! You may not be entirely 'out of the woods yet', but your surgeon has gifted hands and there is a clear cut sunny pathway out of there of good wishes, prayers and hugs to see you through surgery to healing and freedom from illness. I wish it were September already so you wouldn't have to wait! Your trials may be someone's inspiration to quit and that would be a beautiful consequence. Keep smiling , be strong, and take things one day at a time. Sound familiar? image
...Wendy...