Hi Annie.
I haven't been on the site for a day or so and just read your post. I'm very sorry about the loss of your mother. You and I have a number of things in common and I just wanted to share what's working for me right now. I'm on day 14 of my quit, it was the first anniversary of my father's death a week before I quit. I'm experiencing some crazy peri-menopausal symptoms (not PMS but similiar to what I used to experience as PMS). It gets confusing sometimes figuring out what is the cause of everything we're going through, doesn't it? Is it the anniversary stuff, is it hormonal, is it the fact that we're at times choosing to 'grieve' the loss of nicotine in our lives? I suggest it's a little of all of the above. When I get my craves I close my eyes and envision my dad holding me and soothing me, knowing that he would want me to be my real, genuine self...free from this horrible addiction. I look at old family pictures when I was young and before I chose to let nicotine to take me over. I look at the freedom from the blackness of nicotine in those innocent days and it helps to solidify my committment to get it back.
You're not alone, Annie. Hang in, okay? Like I've read over and over on this life-saving site, "THERE IS A 100% GUARANTEE THAT THIS WILL GET EASIER".