I am just over 10 days into my quit now. Today has to have been the hardest day that I have had since day 1.
I woke up in the morning with very strong cravings that did not seem to want to subside - they just kept coming
one after another. I was definately experianceing time diplacement. I just blew em off and got ready for the 1.5 hour
drive to work. The whole ride to work I was seeing people in other cars smoking appearing to be really comfortable
and happy. I had to keep reminding myself that they are addicts just like me and probably do not realize what they
are really doing to themselves. Usually when I go to work, I get there a little early, log onto whyquit.com and read
some postings before things really get going. Today I could not do that. When I got to work, there were 3 people
already waiting to drop off their vehicles for service (I am the assistant service manager). So instead of going in
and reading my postings, I had customers which had to get priority. Of course all but one of them was in a foul
mood and expected me to be able to part water and create miracles. Then the boss makes a customer mad and
and throws me to the wolves to fix it. This just really gave me an attitude and after I got the customer handled my
boss and I started arguing. By this time I really wanted to walk out and light up!!!!! I tryed to go online and read some postings and articles to try to help, but it was just too busy to get away for even a minute. I just kept reminding
myself - NTAP and one minute at time. As the day went on, the cravings got worse as did my attitude. I actually at
one point was physically shaking I was so flustered. I wanted to light up so bad it could almost taste it. I just kept
pushing past it although it really seemed to last hours instead of minutes like the articles say. I still could not get away
to read any postings or articles to try and chill out. Before the day was over, had another blow up with the boss (who
is also a good friend believe it or not) and got that worked out finally. Still having strong cravings and anxiety though.
Only 1 more hour and work will be over and then another 1.5 hour drive home. I actually think that I was having
withdrawls from not being able to read the posts and articles today. I thought the whole drive home about Freedom and what I have learned from reading all the postings and articles. I know everything that I experianced is perfectly normal. Primarily I believe it all to be anxitey and a feeling of emotional loss. I live off the concept of one hour at a time, but today I had to go one minute at time.
I know the only reason I made it through the day is because I was prepaired for this to happen eventually. I have read many postings that address the same thing that I was going thru today. I really want to thank everyone here that posts these types of things because it helps newbies like me prepair for the inevitable - when it happens to us. I know tomorrow is another day and will hopefully be a much better day than today was. I remain true to my vow to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!!
Thank you my friends for sharing your stories & lives, you are all inspirational!!!
Jason - Free and Healing for Ten Days, 2 Hours and 9 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 16 Hours, by avoiding the use of 202 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $45.42.