I turned double green this morning....2 months and counting. But thats not really what I'm excited about...statistics are just numbers sprawled out on a
page. The true indicator of how you are doing is how you feel and the amount of confidence you gain. Why quit would say that I feel "normal"
right now...how a non-smoker feels all the time. We ex-smokers tend to exaggerate and say we feel AWESOME as time goes by.
My enthusiasm extends from a first vacation I just returned from nicotine free. I must admit, I was nervous heading into this as it posed a lot of new
triggers and situations I havent been exposed to yet..
Amazingly, I didnt dread the time inside the airport/plane being unable to smoke. There were 10 hours with minimal/non-existent thoughts. I didnt have to
smoke like crazy before entering the airport. After inside the airport for some time I didnt have to sneak into the bathroom stall and sneak 2 puffs and
quickly put it out before being discovered risking the whole trip on this stupid act. I didnt get restless/uneasy when our plane was delayed.
Dare I say the "C" word? COMFORTABLE! I kept telling myself it hasn't been long enough to even contemplate the "C" word,
but I was. There was no denying it. I found myself fixated on it. My only symptom I noticed was I felt a little "tired"...that feeling I got
when I first quit, but I can live with "tired".
Our vacation was to the casino capitol of the world in Nevada where it seems a lot of people smoke. The first night I sat down next to several smokers and
I was amazed I had zero urge. It was just like oh...that person smokes. It actually took me a while to realize I used to smoke and I should be wanting one
at this point, but I didnt. After a while, everybody started smoking and it started bothering me.
This took me by surprise and knocked me off balance...."The smoke was bothering me" "I had forgot I smoked while watching others smoke".
Those were random thoughts that came out of nowhere. Never in the last 20 years was that possible...I would have been joining right in with them. Theres
that "C" word again. I cant get it out of my head anymore.....I find myself afraid of using it....it just hasnt been long enough yet. I havent
earned it. I still have months to go.
On our 3rd night, I mixed some alcohol with the casinos and my mind slipped just a bit. I had some fleeting thoughts of "just
tonight"...."you can quit again tomorrow"....."It wont be as hard to do it again"..."you are only reinforcing you vacation
triggers, not everyday stuff"....However these thoughts were easily defeated. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being a really bad crave...I would say the
thoughts were approximately a Level 2. They were not hard to defeat and I never fixated on them. Just thoughts entering and exiting my concious mind.
I wasnt thinking about denying myself a good time by not smoking, rather I was enjoying basking in the accomplishment that I no longer needed to fulfill that
smoking destiny. I promised myself that my addiction would not be making the plane ride home with me. That would be one expensive ticket.
20 years of addiction turned around in
2m 11:00 smoke-free, 1,187 cigs not smoked, $237.40 saved, 4d 2:55 life saved
I am no longer holding onto blind faith, I am a firm believer in this system. Anybody just starting out, hang on for dear life, white knuckle it, do what
ever it takes. I had hours and hours strung together on this trip that I never once thought about smoking. I think I even had an entire day of zero
thoughts on our sightseeing day. If it wasnt zero, then it was maybe a total of 2 minutes time. The point is I dont remember, it wasnt a struggle.
MAN, DO I FEEL NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

