I believe that sitting on a desolate beach with the weather looking violent and storm clouds rollin in, watchng the waves crashing onto the shore, the wind in my hair and the salt on my lips, ear phones on and listening to classical music would have to be one of the most beautiful and raw experiences in the world - smelling the sea, watching her fury, nature at its best.
One year ago I made the most astounding and amazing decision of my life, I turned my back on the one thing that I thought had kept me steady, the one thing that was always there for me, gave me confidence and strength, seen me through all sorts of heartbreak and happiness and I decided to walk alone after 35 years without its poisonous support, in all honesty I really don't know why I did, but what is most surprising is that I actually did it, I really did - I quit nicotine, in saying that, until I read this site I had absolutely no idea that I was an addict, or that it had such a hold on me. Without all the chemicals in my body I believe I have become a different person, I have changed, I face up to people now, stand my ground and challenge decisions, if this is a good or bad thing I really don't care, this is the new nicotine free me.
We humans destroy our world with pollution and we have embraced money and greed overr caring and have little or no regard or respect for life, whether human or animal, but there are some people who care, people who for instance receive no gain, operate and maintain this website, offering education and motivation and the absolute truth (yep! truth, a rare commodity these days, someone giving you information for which they will receive no profit) to people they will never meet, they can only guess the impact on the lives they will touch with a supportive word or posting, a related link to some cry for help or a question asked. In the universe this is but a small step, a tiny wee grain of sand but to me and other addicts like me it is a huge step and a virtual beach containing a million grains of sand.
There is still some beauty left in this world, you just have to look, the smell of rain during a summer storm, the sweet smell of a new baby, the soft fur of a baby kitten, the smell of different seasons. I discovered smells from my childhood and youth that in a haze of cigarette smoke I had forgotten about.
I have had a very easy quit, partly because I believed as promised that this was totally doable. I believed and it was true, I also learnt that I was an addict, and to stay true to my quit I must Never Take Another Puff, its all about the Law of Addiction. So now Maybe I can sit on that beach and watch the storm and the waves pounding magnificently onto the shore, listening to the music without the need to feed an addiction (that until I found this site, I did not believe I had), I will remember and shed a tear for people like Kim, Noni and Bryan taken too young from this life, and I thank them for sharing their stories, this addiction is real and it is deadly and it is still legal. We may be the most itelligent species on this earth (I don't know in whose opinion) but also the dumbest in commiting slow suicide, however, in saying all that - I made one whole year, I have travelled around the sun - I AM TRULY GOLDEN.
Suzie - Your quit sister