Today is a lovely northern californian day. I spent the day running around and learning with students ... it
was a little stressful, but it felt great.
At the end of the long day, a colleague who I don't know offered to drive me home and I accepted. The
ride was short, but memorable. As we approached the car, she said she smoked. She told me to:
"be prepared for the smell". I told her I had quit in hopes of starting a conversation about how she might as well. Instead, she replied:
"well, I hope I won't tempt you." I just smiled a little and said, "no, not at all". Her idea of what it is like to be free was so
mistaken. Far from tempting, I knew the smell would make me sick to my stomach. I knew I would be repulsed by the mere idea of toxic flames and hydrogen
cyanide. And I was repulsed: the whole time.
But, I didn't want to be rude so I said nothing. Frankly, I hadn't been around smokers or smoking in
a long time so I had no idea what I was in for. I spent 15 minutes in the car with her, watching her light 1 cigarette after another. Our long day working
with children meant she couldn't get too many nicotine feedings in.
As soon as I got home I had to go straight for the shower! I had been slimed
with chemical sludge! No checking messages, no breaks, no snack. Straight for the shower! I threw all my clothes straight to the wash: not
even to the hamper. My hair was saturated with poison! I was nauseated and I couldn't stand the idea of those toxic fumes around my clean healthy space.
I had to get those poisons off of me.
The conclusion of my story is this: The person who drove me was still controlled by an inner junkie. She
thinks all people who begin healing from nicotine have craves and triggers forever. How sad and how wrong. They actually vanish so quickly with the
wonderful education here!! Like many smokers, she may die a painful, early death for that misconception. I can attest to
this fact: at 300 days free, being anywhere near cigarette smoke is like being splashed with CHEMICAL SLUDGE. I cherish my freedom in
moments like these, when I can reflect on how much we've learned here.
mari
and ps....
I'M 300 DAYS QUIT TODAY! AND I FEEL JUST GREAT! HAPPY WEEKEND FOLKS! I'LL BE
TOASTING TO YOU ALL THIS EVENING AS I CELEBRATE 10 MONTHS FREE...FREE...FREE!

