I'm still in awe that I did this. I never thought I'd make it to green,
but once I did I just knew I would make it all the way. And here I am, I'm now bright and shiny SILVER! Learning was the key. Learning how this addiction worked, how
nicotine worked inside my body, how it affected my thoughts & emotions. I didn't need to be stronger like I had always tried to be. I
just needed to be smarter. Stronger or smarter? You mean I have a choice? How empowering! And what's even more
empowering is knowing that this can be done because by golly, I'm doing it! I am living proof.
A couple things that I learned along the way brought me a particular amount of satisfaction. For one, the TRUTH that life really does go on without smoking. You *really truly can* do things you always did and enjoyed, without giving in to the demands of our addiction. And before ya know it, it's almost as if the addiction was never there to begin with. I work with a guy who smokes a lot, every once in a while he falls into a major coughing fit. The kind of terrible hacking cough that just makes him cough harder, the kind that makes me fear the day he keels over right in front of me. And he'll even say "With all my bad habits, I know smoking is the one that's gonna get me." So I'll say "why don't you quit?" - "Well because then I'd have to quit driving, eating, drinking, sex, television, phone, going out, etc etc." - "So I guess you think I gave all that up too?" Sometimes I'm amazed at people who don't want to hear that it's not as bad as they think…I wish someone had told me that. All I heard was how bad it was, how it almost ruined a marriage, how much of a bear so-and-so was. Well, thankfully now I know better.
Another thing I *really* enjoyed learning was that Every quit is different. I try to relay this to smokers who ask how I quit. I had quit so many times, every time it was excruciating. So excruciating that I decided it was better to give up than to stick with the quit. I felt hopeless. And every failure made me fear quitting that much more. Smoking became my Monster under the bed. (LOVE that one by the way) But just because it was always like that, doesn't mean it couldn't be different. Quitting with a positive attitude was a major thread in learning that. I could make this as easy or as difficult as I wanted to make it. I could see quitting as depriving myself of the nicotine I so desperately wanted (or told myself I wanted) or I could see it as a chance to let my body start to heal. I chose to heal because I knew deep inside that I hated smoking. I hated needing to smoke. I hated needing anything, never mind something that was killing me. And with each crave that came, I remembered what I read, what the oldbies said, and welcomed each and every one as a chance to conquer yet another crave, a chance to take one step closer to the comfort I kept hearing about.
The last wonderful nugget of new knowledge that I'll mention, even though every thing I learned has been great but I'm trying to think on my toes here, is the myth that a smoker who quits smoking longs to be smoking for a very long time, indeed years. I really thought, because I had been told, that it would be hard for a loooooong time. That I would have craves forever. But ya know what? It's simply NOT TRUE !! I know because I am living it. I wouldn't be surprised if news broke tomorrow that the NRT companies and the tobacco companies are in cahoots together. I found my freedom for free. The best sale ever! Cold turkey quitting was daunting. But truth be told, quitting cold turkey is the fastest, cheapest, easiest way to arrest this addiction for good. It really isn't the monster people are used to hearing about. It's bark is worse than it's bite. While comfort comes at different times for different people, because let's face it, every quit is different, the best way to overcome the active addiction to nicotine is to cleanse yourself of it, once and for all. There's nothing to be afraid of.
Comfort is very…well...comforting.
If you can't tell by now, one of my coping methods was to talk about it. In good times and bad, I like to talk about it. Perhaps that's why I post so often.
So…ENOUGH TALKING!! Let's have a SILVER PARTY!!
My name is Jamie. I am a nicotine addict and now, thankfully an EX-SMOKER since APRIL 17! I am officially Silver!!

