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Jul 31 04 10:44 PM
Jan 2 05 11:55 AM
If recovery time distortion is an almost universial recovery symptom and what can feel like a three hour crave episode is never longer than three minutes
then why not build in as much delay as your situation will allow?
We understand that many members have family and loved ones who smoke and who'll at times be less than supportive of this wonderful opportunity to
substantially improve your health while likely substantially lengthening your life.
But for a recovering nicotine addict to intentionally keep nicotine handy is like someone on suicide-watch intentionally carrying a fully loaded gun, just
to prove they can. This isn't time for more head-games but for reason, logic and to replace junkie thinking with the common sense that once filled your
Mar 10 05 1:45 AM
Jun 5 05 8:39 PM
I wrote the below commentary specifically about people offering you cigarettes after you quit. Another similar issue is for people who repeatedly
"accidentally" leave their cigarettes in your home, office or car. If this ever happens it is best to destroy the person's cigarettes. Again, the
same concept applies--whether you smoke them or destroy them, the cigarettes are no longer going to be available for the person who has carelessly left them
behind. The first time if you really feel bad you can reimburse the person the cost of the cigarettes. After that though the person should clearly know not to
be so careless with his or her cigarettes.
If ever you have a family member, friend, co-worker or any other acquaintance offer you a cigarette it is best to politely say no and just let the person
know that you do not smoke any more nor do you even want to smoke any more. Basically say you have no interest or desire for one. That should be the end of the
offers if it is from any person who was just making what he or she thought was a friendly gesture.
If the person pursues asking you about how you quit and why you feel as you do, you may want to take the opportunity to share some of what you learned here
about how important quitting smoking is and how much better you feel about yourself since you have quit smoking.
If on the other hand the person continues to offer you a cigarette or is obviously actually pushing you to take one it is best to give it one or two more
tries to politely say no and ask the person not to offer any more for you truly have no intention of smoking one. If this doesn't end the pressure being
put on you to take a cigarette it is time to change your tactics. Look at the person, maybe even with a little bit of sadness and defeat in your eyes, and say
to him or her that you can't take the pressure anymore and sure give me a cigarette if you must. When he or she hands you the cigarette, walk over to the
nearest garbage can, crumble it up and throw it out.
Now you have an option of how you want to proceed. You can either wait for the next offer to come or you can say, "Thank you, that felt great. Would
you like to give me another one." If the person is gullible enough to offer you another take that one too and repeat the destruction and disposal. Keep it
up for as long as the person keeps offering. At some point you may want to say that this could go a whole lot faster if you would like to give me your pack.
You can destroy all of the cigarettes that way in one fell swoop.
I can assure you that if you stick to this game plan the person is eventually going to stop offering you cigarettes. Cigarettes are just to expensive to
keep up this kind of routine over a long time period. By the way, you should not feel any guilt for destroying the cigarettes of another person. Once a person
is offering you a cigarette he or she should not be expecting to get it back. If you smoke the cigarette it is no longer available for the person or if you
destroy the cigarette it is no longer available either. If the person is indeed making the offer to somehow give you some sort of pleasure the odds are you
will get some sort of pleasure out of destroying them. If not pleasure you should get a little amusement out of the reaction from the person as they see their
hard fought efforts to get you to smoke get instantly trashed.
This action will likely result in the other person feeling a whole lot more irritated by the altercation than you will. More importantly though, you will by
example be proving to the person and to yourself that your quit is strong and your resolve is totally intact to stick to your personal commitment to never take
Jan 13 06 8:02 PM
Mar 17 06 7:35 PM
Don't ever forget how cigarettes once controlled your behaviors and beliefs.
When you quit smoking you admitted cigarettes controlled you. You were literally afraid that one puff could put you back. That was not an
One puff today will lead to the same tragic results as it would have the day you quit.
Cigarettes were stronger than you before, and, if given the chance, will be stronger than you again. If you want to show you are now in
control, do it by admitting you can function without having cigarettes as a worthless and dangerous crutch.
To permanently stay free from cigarettes, all that needs to be done is to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
May 27 06 6:40 AM
Nov 28 06 10:31 PM
Nov 29 06 5:44 PM
Jan 22 07 8:16 PM
Apr 3 07 7:00 PM
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Jan 7 08 9:42 AM
Jan 7 08 6:44 PM
Judy, it's all too common that the rational, thinking mind resorts to games, challenges, tests, personification and bizarre rituals when attempting to
arrest a chemical dependency, a dependency that long ago took hostage the priority teaching pathways of the deep inner primitive mind. But such games are
like holding a chicken bone too close to a dog's mouth. Why would superior intelligence intentionally tease a brain into experiencing powerful craves
that it knew or should have known were coming?
Keeping the instrument of relapse handy may be associated with a host of mind games including a tangible attempt to display self control or raw power, an
intentional self-tease, an already defeated mind's access insurance for when challenge becomes significant, or even what sounds like a rational attempt
to extinguish, early, one of the biggest conditioned feeding cues of all, being around cigarettes.
We are told that early alcohol use is associated with 50% of all relapses but even louder is the fact that 100% of relapses involve the addict getting
their hands on nicotine. Although time distortion may make a less than three minute crave episode feel like three hours, if we have the ability to put a
few minutes between us and obtaining nicotine, we afford the rational, thinking mind an opportunity to sense the turmoil begin to subside, and keep
healing, freedom and recovery alive.
There will be plenty of time later for all the mind games you then want to play (if any) and they'll each be super easy to win. You'll no longer
be in the throws of chemical withdrawal, the vast majority of your nicotine feeding cues will have been extinguished, and your deep inner brain will have
been afforded an opportunity to taste the true beauty and flavor of life without nicotine, and sense the inner calm of coming home to you!
Thirty years of my own bondage, and up to 3 packs-a-day, as part of my cessation seminars I'm often handling cigarettes. If you're thinking about
quitting or a new quitter, I wish you could peak inside my mind and feel what it's like to go program after program and yet never once want for
nicotine. Give yourself time. You'll be amazed at how comfortable and content you'll become, even around smokers.
All we can control are the next few minutes and whether the calmest yet or our greatest challenge of all during this temporary period of re-adjustment
called quitting, each will be entirely do-able. You're coming home! Yes you can, yes you have, yes you are!
Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,
John (Gold x8)
Mar 24 08 9:42 PM
Mar 24 08 11:53 PM
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Jun 23 08 10:59 PM
Apr 10 09 10:00 PM
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