Hello all. I've been off the butts for 19 days now and am still finding myself fixated on those lousy cigarettes. I mean, I haven't done the NRT (sort of like decaf - I didn't see the point) but my dreams are so life-like. The other night I dreamt I walked into a gas station, bought a pack, walked out, opened it, pulled one out and lit it - the dream seemed so real to that action I had performed thousands of times I actually felt guilty when I woke up. Even more than 2 weeks later I still want one sometimes so bad that I get week in the knees. Don't get me wrong - I am thrilled that I stumbled across this website after yet another failed attempt at quitting and hating myself for the look of sheer disappointment on my husband's face. I am thrilled I've finally quit!!! But, honestly, I feel like breaking down and crying wondering how my first real "test" is going to go. You see I am a full-time working mom of 3 young children (all ages 4 and under) and my husband who has never smoked is in 2 bands. So, as you can infer, I really never, ever, never go out. Which means I have not yet been "put to the test." BUT... in a week and a half we will all be flying to NY to visit my family and I am terrified. All but 2 of my 7 siblings have quit and of course the sister I am closest to in age and interests still smokes. I have emailed her all sorts of stuff from the whyquit.com site to get her to quit prior to my arrival, but alas, still she has not. HOW will I get through this???