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Jan 7 10 4:10 PM
Great to be able to visit and add my cheers to your wonderful quit. Congratulations on your decision. Enjoy the journey one step at a time. One day at a time.
NTAP remains the only requirement.
M @ silver
Jan 7 10 9:04 PM
Today I found myself thinking a great deal about my life. I'm 45 and became addicted to nicotine delivery devices at 21 years of age. My delivery
device of choice was cigarettes. I made it through high school without so much as touching a cigarette. Through my high school career I was a long distance
runner, swimmer, played the trumpet and sang in the choir. At that time in my life I could not image what would cause someone to ever light a cigarette. My
mother decided one day, in my junior year, to take up smoking to lose weight. I broke each cigarette in half, threw them in the toilet and flushed. Mother
was furious, mostly because of the money I wasted. I later gave her the money for the cigarettes... hmmm I guess that was technically the first pack I ever
bought. Mother never did start smoking.
Out of high school I became a chef. The restaraunt business was crazy and nearly everyone smoked. In 1985 I read an article that had placed commercial
kitchen personel as the most likely to have addiction issues with recreational drugs. I was 20 years old when I would purchase my second pack of cigarettes,
this pack I didn't flush down the toilet. For the next twenty-four and a half years I was a practicing nicotine addict. At one point, when I was twenty
something and between jobs, I was consuming nearly eighty filterless nicotine delivery devices per day. In less than 10 years I had gone from being able to
average 6 minute miles over a 10k run... to struggling to run couple hundred yards. As I write this I am humiliated... my identity was staying fit. Today
most people that know me would never believe the athlete that I once was. Many that know me today know me first and foremost as a smoker.
That brings me back to today. I am a guide dog field instructor. I work partnering blind and low vision people with guide dogs in their home area. I'm
on the road more days/ per month than I am home. My job requires that I walk a great deal. Nearing age 45 and having spent the last 24 years as a cigarette
addict I began to slow. In early 2009 I had worked with a blind woman that was a former marathon runner. She kicked my butt up and down the street. I had a
difficult time keeping up with her and her dog and an even more difficult time feeding my addiction. Throughout 2009 my addiction was time and again become
much less convenient and much more of an issue. Last fall my son and I were floating in a boat doing some freshwater fishing. It was dead quiet, the water
like glass. Absolutely perfect! The only thing that broke the silence was the familiar "flick of my lighter". My 11 year old son turned around and
said, "Dad I really don't want you to die". Of course I reassured him that that wasn't going to happen.
My son's voice has echoed in my head since that day. Everytime I'd light one up, everytime I'd be pressing my pace through the airport passed
baggage claim and out the door to feed that fix. With my chest aching and heart racing, my son's voice in my head.... yet I'd light one anyway. I
knew I had to quit... this was leading no where good. It wasn't fair to force my son to someday stand along side my hospital bed and hold my hand while I
lay dying of some cigarette related illness. How the heck could I do that to my son? What did he ever do to deserve that? Yet I smoked on... even with that
knowledge I said to myself and him, "I'll quit someday... someday when things calm down".
For me that day came on December 27 at 12:01am. I stumbled onto this website and spent a lot of hours reading. I very much liked the approach and the candid
tone that is spoken here. It's not about gimmicks or getting an addict to switch delivery devices. It's about walking away from an addiction that is
stealing our lives from us. It steals life from us, our families, our friends... it is a horrible, demanding monster that will not stop until we are
destroyed. After 24 years Joel's writings got that point across to me. It wasn't just a bad habit, this was addiction and it was going to kill me.
Cold Turkey and I haven't had a fix since that day and swear NTAP ever. Last week I was driving down the road with my son and we were talking about
addiction and my quit. I had used the term "cold turkey" several times. At one point he said, "do you call it that 'cuz now that you
don't smoke you want to eat cold turkey all the time"? It's probably one of those "had to be there moments"... but I haven't
laughed that hard in a long time. Too late for this to be a short story but my son is very happy that his dad doesn't smoke... and my greatest wish is
that he never takes that first dose of nicotine. It's strange but everytime I get a crave or a thought since that conversation, I can't help but think
of "cold turkey".
So this morning I'm walking down the street heading for my clients residence. It's 5:45am and I've got skip in my step and am feeling pretty darn
good about things. Suddenly this guy hops out from in front of a store front, "hey, buddy you got a cigarette". I was startled and this was the
first time I've been hit up for a cigarette since my quit. I hesitated and rather loudly exclaimed, "I'm a non-smoker". The guy sort of
scurried back into the shadow... a bit frighted by my tone. I continued on chuckling to myself and repeating over and again using different inflections and
accents, "I am a non-smoker"!
It was a good day... "I AM A NON-SMOKER". Nothing I can do about the 24 years that I lost. Nothing I can do about the mistake I
made lighting that first cancer causing nicotine delivery device. But I can do something about the next minute, the next hour, tomorrow and the rest of my
By the way... walked nearly 6 miles today without hesitation, pain, weezing or sneezing. Gonna use my first money saved to by a treadmill...
'cuz I'm gonna start running again. Sounds like a great hobby to share with my son. Thank -You to any of you who may have made it to the end of this.
Thank you all for your encouragement and for sharing your experiences. Thank you Joel from myself and a great little 11 year old kid named Mason!
Jan 7 10 9:59 PM
Jan 8 10 5:02 PM
Jan 8 10 8:15 PM
Jan 9 10 8:50 AM
Jan 10 10 2:33 AM
Jan 10 10 6:59 AM
Jan 12 10 12:01 AM
Jan 12 10 12:23 AM
Jan 12 10 3:26 PM
Over halfway to Green. Fantastic!
Please don't beat yourself up about the fact you smoked - rejoice that you don't need to anymore (never "needed" to but hey you don't
now...). Let's look forward. Only look back to remind yourself of all the bad stuff to do with smoking.
Rejoicing with you!
M (silver and a bit!)
Jan 14 10 6:13 PM
Absolutely cannot believe this. Called home and talked to my "significant other". She is a lifelong smoker and one that professes that she will
never quit because she "loves to smoke". So anyway I call her to tell her that I will be returning to town on Saturday evening. During the
conversation she asked how my quit was going, I told her very well.
So just minutes ago I get an email from her asking if I'd stop by the "Smoke Shop" on the way home and pick up a carton of cheap cigarettes for
I'm just out of my mind at the moment. NTAP! Absolutely will not, never... ever again. Right now am furious at the whole idea of smoking. And no
I'm not picking up her smokes!!!
Jan 14 10 7:32 PM
Jan 15 10 3:05 AM
Jan 15 10 3:52 AM
Jan 15 10 1:44 PM
Wow, you are well on your way to green.
Good for you.
I had to laugh when I read your post about your significant other.
I think Sarah was right, your other half e-mailed you because she knew what
response she would get if she asked you on the phone, ha ha.
Hey, you are doing amazing, keep it up.
The comfort comes.
Kim-free since Sept 20-09
Jan 15 10 7:22 PM
Jan 15 10 11:26 PM
Jan 16 10 12:31 PM
Doc Quit date 14th October 2008
Jan 17 10 11:58 PM
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