I quit dipping tobacco at 11:35est May 1. Tonight will be my 3 week anniversary
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Well, so it begins. Here's the road I've traveled. I'm a former user of dipping tobacco, and a nicotine addict for life. That realization was the first hurdle I had to get past this time. You see, this is my second quit. One that should never have been needed, but I was uneducated in my illness.
I started dipping a few months after high school. It was a spontaneous event, a friend was headed out to the store and out of the blue I asked him to pick up a can of 'the bear'. He looked at me funny, and I shrugged and said I felt like trying something new. I was hooked on it after that night and spent what I think was the next 8 years dipping. Eventually I found myself wanting to quit, wanting to be normal like other people. So I quit, probably in 1998 some time. I remember it was hard at times but my mother had quit smoking a decade before this and she motivated me to continue the fight. Eventually I was normal again, well in the sense that I didn't have the urges anymore. The majority of the time I never even thought about 'the bear' and when I did, I just shrugged it off.
And then, in the fall of 2006, I was at a bar where one of my friends pulled out a can. I'm not sure if it was the sight or the smell of it but as soon as it was on the table, I couldn't stop thinking about what it was like to dip. I couldn't really remember, I couldn't quite put my finger on why I did it so much. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't be posting this tonight. But hindsight is 20/20 isn't it? I took a pinch for old time sake and the dam that I had spent years building burst. The flood of nicotine was intoxicating. I remember the next morning I sat in my car debating on getting a tin for myself. No big thing right, heck if I got one it would probably last me several weeks. What could it hurt?
So 4 years later here I am, on week 3 of my second quit. I've had ups and downs and am reliving the entire struggle I did nearly 12 years ago all over again. I don't believe in the nicotine replacement products out there, I know that in order for me to do this...again, I have to do it cold turkey. Its the only way. I also have to remember that I'm an addict. I cant allow even a taste of nicotine again or this fight starts anew. I don't necessarily get bad withdraw symptoms, a bit of a slight sore throat and weight gain (which I certainly dont need anymore of). The worst for me is the psychological struggle that seems to always find ways of creeping up on me. I can deal with urges, thats not what I'm talking about. What I mean is the weird, occasional feeling of loss, like you lost a friend. How weird that feels. And then there's the fight against bargaining. That is another issue I've been surprised by. The thought of going back to dipping and losing weight first (then I would be able to handle cessation a lot better). Don't get me wrong, these feelings are not strong, they can't overpower me. Its just I have to snicker or scratch my head at them. They are just so odd when you encounter them.
Anyway, there's my story. I have lurked on whyquit for a while, I've read all the great literature and I can tell you its saved me a few times in that first week.
.
Well, so it begins. Here's the road I've traveled. I'm a former user of dipping tobacco, and a nicotine addict for life. That realization was the first hurdle I had to get past this time. You see, this is my second quit. One that should never have been needed, but I was uneducated in my illness.
I started dipping a few months after high school. It was a spontaneous event, a friend was headed out to the store and out of the blue I asked him to pick up a can of 'the bear'. He looked at me funny, and I shrugged and said I felt like trying something new. I was hooked on it after that night and spent what I think was the next 8 years dipping. Eventually I found myself wanting to quit, wanting to be normal like other people. So I quit, probably in 1998 some time. I remember it was hard at times but my mother had quit smoking a decade before this and she motivated me to continue the fight. Eventually I was normal again, well in the sense that I didn't have the urges anymore. The majority of the time I never even thought about 'the bear' and when I did, I just shrugged it off.
And then, in the fall of 2006, I was at a bar where one of my friends pulled out a can. I'm not sure if it was the sight or the smell of it but as soon as it was on the table, I couldn't stop thinking about what it was like to dip. I couldn't really remember, I couldn't quite put my finger on why I did it so much. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't be posting this tonight. But hindsight is 20/20 isn't it? I took a pinch for old time sake and the dam that I had spent years building burst. The flood of nicotine was intoxicating. I remember the next morning I sat in my car debating on getting a tin for myself. No big thing right, heck if I got one it would probably last me several weeks. What could it hurt?
So 4 years later here I am, on week 3 of my second quit. I've had ups and downs and am reliving the entire struggle I did nearly 12 years ago all over again. I don't believe in the nicotine replacement products out there, I know that in order for me to do this...again, I have to do it cold turkey. Its the only way. I also have to remember that I'm an addict. I cant allow even a taste of nicotine again or this fight starts anew. I don't necessarily get bad withdraw symptoms, a bit of a slight sore throat and weight gain (which I certainly dont need anymore of). The worst for me is the psychological struggle that seems to always find ways of creeping up on me. I can deal with urges, thats not what I'm talking about. What I mean is the weird, occasional feeling of loss, like you lost a friend. How weird that feels. And then there's the fight against bargaining. That is another issue I've been surprised by. The thought of going back to dipping and losing weight first (then I would be able to handle cessation a lot better). Don't get me wrong, these feelings are not strong, they can't overpower me. Its just I have to snicker or scratch my head at them. They are just so odd when you encounter them.
Anyway, there's my story. I have lurked on whyquit for a while, I've read all the great literature and I can tell you its saved me a few times in that first week.

