Wow, I can't believe I'm ready to begin this journey. Here I am on day 7, I wanted to quit on December 1st and I did. I wanted to get a month under my belt before the New Year. I turn 49 on January 3rd and started smoking when I was 10 years old. Yes, my older sibling taught me to smoke so that I wouldn't snitch on them. It looked so cool when they were doing it - I just couldn't wait. I have to succeed THIS TIME, there can be no other choices. I have had the acquipunture, got hypnotised, did that pill that gave me horrible nightmares, the patch, cold-turkey, OMG you name it and I have failed it when it comes to me being an addict. I think I have been a closet smoker for the last 5 years as well. My kids think I only smoke when I have a few cocktails, my husband thinks the same thing. I lie about my addiction to practically everyone, although I'm pretty sure most people know the truth. The only one I'm really lying to is myself. Let me tell you what smoking has brought into my life. It has caused me to become a liar, a cheat, I've watched it kill, and it burns a hole in my soul each and every day. People around me think I'm kind of a health nut, and I am, except that I smoke and I loved smoking so much that I couldn't ever let it go - I thought I could have my cake and eat it too - well, YOU CAN'T and I'm done. On December 1st - I said good-bye to nicotine - I have read these pages on this site and learned them like it was the big book of an alcoholic - because when it comes to it - we are all addicts. I'm tired of being a drug addict (nicotine), I'm tired of lying and cheating people whom I love. I want freedom. I want to run a clean race (funny story here - I tell my running friends that I have asthma that is why I run so slow) because I don't want them to know that I'm smoking. So, since I'm also very tired of quitting and going through the withdrawals of being a "meanie" - I choose Life - I choose Freedom and I choose to live my life clean and I will run a clean 2011 Chicago Marathon - because I'm hanging with the right people, getting support, I'm going to do it all the right way - so that I never have to quit AGAIN. Never ever ever take one single puff and let that nicotine enter your blood, your brain or your life. 24 HOURS AT A TIME - here I come.