I keep reading posts that say that smoking was my friend or my pal. Nonsense. Friends don't kill friends. Smoking was my 30 year companion in life, not my friend. One of us were going to die _ it was either Smoking or Zep. I chose Smoking and 10 days ago, with premeditation, I killed a companion of 30 years.
My oldest daughter Carmen is 19. Sadly, I've devoted much more of the past 19 years of life to my companion Smoking, than I did to my daughter Carmen. I love Carmen dearly. What if I lost her? How long would I grieve or have massive mood swings? We're not computers that can be turned on or off. We're humans with remembering minds and loving hearts. Don't fight mood swings _ expect them, recognize them for what they are, and then say goodbye to each. Although we have little control over it, how long each of us grieve for the loss of a companion is totally up to us.
After divorce (which for me was akin to the death of a companion) many of us went on the rebound and immediately searched for a replacement. Yes, even our former spouse had a few good qualities. For most, the replacement was temporary and done for the purpose of attempting to forget our loss by replacing sad with temporary happy. Karen, you have a built in replacement for your dead companion _ your wonderful son. I think I recall you saying that your son gave you the courage to kill Smoking. Hug extra hard Karen.