Originally from the thread Emotional Loss Experienced from Quitting Smoking
|From: Joel||Sent: 5/4/2004 10:16 AM|
I saw where a member who has been off a significant time period is seeming to be in a "bargaining" phase again. Actually, there is a phase that many people go through once they are off significant time periods that mimic bargaining. It is a stage of complacency.
The self talk a person may do when in complacency is the exact same self talk he or she may do when first quitting and bargaining. It will only be one, it'll get me through the crisis, it will be a terrible cigarette and help me secure my resolve, no one will ever know, and so on.
The only difference between the bargaining phase and the complacency phase is that when you are bargaining, you know all of the comments are lies and that you are just trying to convince yourself that you can have one. When in the state of complacency though you can believe everything you are saying. Whether you know the feelings are lies or not doesn't change the fact that they are lies.
You don't have the option of one and if you try to test the theory you are going to find yourself a smoker again. A smoker who is never going to have the support that you had last time (see Good news, our members don't relapse anymore...) and more importantly, a smoker who may never have the strength, desire or worst yet, the opportunity to quit again.
To keep this quit going is contingent on keeping your initial reasons for wanting to quit and your current reasons for want to stay quit reinforced. The more you work at securing your resolve the easier it will be and the happier you will stay in your commitment to never take another puff!