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You stated that you had a relapse and the reasons are many and varied. There is actually only one reason you relapsed, you took a puff! This is an
important distinction to draw. You must understand that there is no legitimate problem that smoking was a solution to. You need to understand that for the
sake of any future quit.
As bad as your problems may have been, smoking couldn't solve it. Last year I was doing a seminar where a lady said she relapsed because her husband
had died a year earlier and left her with paperwork and accounting she just couldn't handle by herself. She was off for a couple of years, even making it
through the initial death of her husband and several months after that smoke free. But the paperwork was overwhelming her. Now, at the seminar she said she
still couldn't quit because of all the distress of being a widow with all the paperwork she still was facing. She said she had to smoke, no one was going
through what she went through being a widow and all.
A man in the group who had been off smoking for I think eight days at this point abruptly yelled bulls### ! It seemed a bit crass at the moment, I was
even a little shocked and she was terribly insulted. But before she had a chance to retaliate he said, "I quit smoking eight days ago, am having a tough
time right now, AND buried my son two days ago." But I am not smoking and not going too!"
It was not an expected death; it was a sudden accident of some sort. A person who he was going to for grief counseling sent him to the program because he
knew the man had a quit going and didn't want him to lose it because of these even tragic circumstances.
The lady who was a widow ended up apologizing to the man about her statement that nobody was going through what she went through.
So as to the point that many things are happening, it is probably true. But to the issue that anyone of them or all of them put together justified
smoking, they do not. There are people at this board who have had serious tragedies in their lives after quitting. I am sorry to say over a lifetime, most if
not all of us will face situations that we don't know how we will survive. This is true for every smoker and non-smoker on earth. But we will survive.
Time heals most emotional pain. But time does not heal smoking induced pains. The destruction of the body can be permanent. The tragic premature loss of a
life from smoking is permanent. And smoking if given the opportunity will lead to that loss.
You know what you have to do. We are here when you need us.
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