Hi!! I had my last cigarette at around midnight 5th July, 07 at the airport just before going on a 2 week holiday to New Zealand with my husband and 2 kids
(41, 16 & 11). I handed my lighter to a young couple standing out in the cold telling them I didn't need it anymore with a very sad face. (I am sure
they thought I was a little mad!) Then, as we were queing to get on the plane, my husband and kids delightedly destroyed the remaining cigarettes in the
packet that I had with me and ceremoniously dumped them in the bin. (By this time I am positive there were many people around us who thought we were all
totally mad!). My plan was that the excitement of going on a holiday and the fact that we would be travelling for the first 20 hours would help me say
goodbye to this horrible habit I have had since I was 18 (now 40). I gave up each time I fell pregnant (due to incredibly bad morning sickness) but took it
up again a year or so later.
Well, my plan worked!!! While I did have cravings, (and the idea of tackling a 7 foot Maori with a packet jammed in his t-shirt sleeve wasnt unappealing!) I
was totally amazed at how well I coped. I actually turned 40 while in NZ and I planned on doing as many adventurous activities as possible - to prove to
myself I wasn't 40!! I threw myself down a hill in a Zorb (large plastic ball), raced my family on a "luge" go cart track, spent 2 days trying
to ski without running into people and finally paraglided off a perfectly good mountain strapped to the front of a perfect stranger!!! There would have been
more of these activities had my husband and I not been stricken by a flu for a few days during the first week.
I am convinced that had I taken that last cigarette at home and woken up the next morning to face the reality that my cuppa and smoke on the back porch at
6.30am was not going to happen, I would not be here 29+days down the track. Admittedly, I only had a couple of drinks of alcohol one night in the entire time
we were away.
So, now we have been home for 2 weeks and yes, that first morning I woke up in my own bed I did have the heartbreaking thought that there was no coffee and
smoke - why bother getting up? But, I did and I had a coffee, and I showered and dressed and went out and did all the usual things that Sunday and I
survived! I think, in essence, after doing a lot of reading on the Freedom site and others, whilst quitting on holiday helped dramatically, it has delayed a
lot of the psychological side effects. The mood swings only kicked in this past 5-6 days. I am constantly biting a very acidic tongue, which isn't
usually me. And, of course, taking it out on my family. Realising that its because I quit, my 11 year old daughter just smiles at me and says "you
still aren't smoking"!
I am avoiding visiting my friends who smoke on my own. I am happy to go with my hubby or kids but I don't feel I trust myself not to "just try a
puff" if I go on my own. I dream of the day when I can have that kind of faith in myself! A good "smoking buddy" of mine who lives down the
road also gave up the same week as me. She was more of a "when I am drinking" smoker so is finding it quite easy during the day but difficult when
she is drinking. The other night while having some drinks with friends we were commenting how "nice it would be to go outside and have just one".
Its winter here at the moment so its not over pleasant outside. Just for a laugh, we got up and walked outside for 5 minutes and took some breaths of fresh
winter air!!
So, here I am 4 weeks later and its the longest I have gone without a cigarette in 9 or so years. I am so PROUD OF MYSELF!!! My husband and kids are proud
of me too but, having never smoked, I don't think they realise how proud they should really be! Its my other ex-smoker friends, who have been really
supportive, who I think can really relate to what I am feeling. I was actually surprised to learn that some of them, occasionally, would enjoy sitting next
to me while I smoked, just to smell it and these people haven't smoked for years and years.
Bring on the next 29 days (and hopefully a better mood - for my family's sake!).
COZIKAN

